The tweets have been pre-written. They're somewhere, lurking in someone's drafts. The memes have been pre-constructed. They're sitting in camera rolls, ready to be fired off in group chats.
Harry Kane is enjoying his best season in club football, but it is becoming increasingly likely that he will not end his wait for the first trophy of his career. That cruel possibility became closer to reality on Saturday when Bayern Munich were thoroughly handled by a far superior and more watchable Bayer Leverkusen side, who turned in a counter-attacking clinic to beat the Bavarians 3-0.
Although there are 13 games to go in the Bundesliga - and the gap remains just five points - there are few signs that Thomas Tuchel's wayward side can turn their league form around. The DFB-Pokal is also out of reach, as the Bavarians suffered an embarrassing early exit to third-division side FC Saarbrucken.
The Champions League, then, is the Bavarians' best shot at silverware this season. For most teams - even those as accomplished as Bayern - European glory isn't usually worth a sole pursuit. There are too many variables, and too many unpredictabilities. Attempting to establish control in a competition that sells itself on chaos doesn't always work out well.
But for Bayern and Kane, the need to perform in Europe is more glaring than ever. It's Kane's only realistic chance at ending his first season in Germany with an elusive medal around his neck.