Welcome to the Culture & Clobber Axis, where GOAL runs the rule over all the latest from the intersection of football and culture - from the sublime to the ridiculous, to what hits and what misses completely.
We're all about new boots this week, with new clobber for the likes of Lionel Messi, Harry Kane and Neymar, while a bad week for Liverpool has thrown up no shortage of delicious narrative.
But where do the week's biggest talking points from the football zeitgeist place in our comprehensive axis? Let's get into it...
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